Kenya For Us: Wedding Planning

There are two types of weddings here: traditional and church weddings. A traditional wedding is the most common and is the way it has been done for hundreds of years according to traditional ethnic practices. A down payment of the bride price (dowry) is paid to the bride’s family after a period of negotiation between the uncles of both parties. During the wedding the clothing is traditional as well as the ceremony. Years later after the entire bride price has been paid, some couples elect to have a church wedding. Our understanding is that you cannot have a church wedding until after the total dowry is paid. This can take years.

At our staff meeting in April, Mr. Oduri, a Kiswahili teacher, announced that he and his wife were going to have a wedding. At first I didn’t understand and thought he was telling us that their daughter was getting married. It wasn’t until fellow teachers were congratulating him and praising him because most men don’t honour their wives by getting married in the church that I realized that he and his wife were getting married. It is called solemnizing their vows. I’m guessing he is in his late 30s or early 40s. I’m pretty sure that they have a child in secondary school. (You don’t ask questions about people’s families so I really don’t know much about my coworkers lives outside school.)

Immediately after the announcement, several of the men volunteered to be his agents in the planning of the wedding. Oduri said that it is customary that the jumuwia (small Christian communities that meet weekly for Scripture study and prayer) does the organization since it was part of the church. He thanked them for their offer and said he would be happy to have them working with his jumuwia.

Several weeks later Oduri asked me if they could use our car, a Toyota Hilux, saying, “I need a beautiful car to escort my beautiful bride to the church.” We are happy to oblige.

Last week we were invited to an organizational meeting at Oduri’s home along with three fellow teachers, all men. On the way we were taken by the church and then on to Oduri’s so we knew the way. It was in interesting experience and gave us additional insight into Kenyan culture. That's Oduri on the left in the black and grey jacket with the big smile on his face.

There were elected officials in charge of the meeting sitting in front of the room. They had brought in chairs that were arranged in rows facing the head table. Two men were obviously in charge with a woman secretary taking notes. The primary purpose of the gathering was fund raising for the wedding. People would bring money up to the front of the room and give it to the chairman. Do you see the man in the yellow jacket?

He is the one leading the applause. Depending upon the size of the donation, he would lead organized clapping in appreciation. There are all kinds of Kenyan clapping: ascending, descending, hearty claps, flowers, etc. Then the secretary would record the amount in her book.

Odrui told me that I needed to announce the donation of the use of our car for the wedding. Of course we were applauded. Then the question was asked, “Does that include the fuel?” My response was, “Of course! You can’t have a wedding without the bride!” You should have heard the laughter and following applause. I guess normally that is a wedding expense, fuel.

After the fund raising part was over, committees reported on the cake, transportation, decorations, invitations, etc.

Then as with any gathering, tea was served. First is the handwashing. Someone comes around with warm water in a pitcher, soap and a basin. She pour the water over your hands so you can wash. Mugs were passed out and plates of mandazi (fried bread similar to doughnuts) and fried ground nuts (peanuts) were set out. Soon, a lady came by with the chai (tea made with milk)to serve us. Now it was time to socialize and visit.